January 25

As always, I begin with this.

On self-sabotage and giving up

By In Competitions, Thoughts 2 mins

So, it’s been a while… I’m having hard enough time trying to write the damn novel, let alone remembering to update this thing. No excuses, I know. I love to write, it’s all I do, so I should be doing nothing but, right?

Actually, I’m tired. My creativity seems to come and go in waves. When it comes, it’s a huge tsunami of words that can’t get down on the page fast enough. When it goes, it’s weeks with no joy.

I was really good in the planning stages of my novel, and got into the habit of coming up to our little study for an hour before bed every single day, like a workhorse, and sitting at the laptop. Even if nothing came of it, I was in that habit – and they say that is the first part of the battle, right? So the excuse-maker and procrastinator in me likes to blame the fact the study roof started to leak for me getting out of the habit. It’s bullshit, of course. The truth is I just stopped caring. It was hard, so I gave up.

This is my eternal issue: I work at something because I want to change for the better, and as I start to show progress then I self-sabotage and give it all up. I find an excuse. I just pack it all in. That’s where the 6 Month Novel programme has been a big help: I can make excuses all I like, but at the end of the day I have deadlines. And the journo in me is very, very deadline-driven.

The journo in me, though, doesn’t deal well with long lead times. I was in daily newspapers; I need short, short timeframes. And as I move into the final month of writing time with about 40,000 words still to go, that short deadline is going to take over my life. I will make it, dammit, but I’ll probably be a zombie until the end of February.

So what of the story?

Well, I had a vague idea, as we all know. I had this vague idea of worlds colliding but I wasn’t sure how to go about that. Lo and behold, at the mid-way point it’s turning into a horror novel. I didn’t set out to do that, but the story took me that way. Don’tcha just love writing?

Keep you posted. Promise.

Written by LJ McMenemy

Thinker of random thoughts. Writer of random dreams.
1 Comment
  1. Mum January 25

    You are nearly there – you are nearing that deadline and the subbies still need some time to review it before print so get on and finish????
    Iam so looking forward to reading your first novel and I know that it will be fabulous –just like you ????????


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