No, seriously. I took a week on my opening line. Then I breezed through a little, then got stuck.
I’m trying to celebrate having written 10,000 words but struggling because that’s about 40,000 less than I should be on right now.
Here’s my problem, as has ever been my problem: I’m happy and motivated when everything is going right, but as soon as the issues hit then I lose motivation. Queen of procrastination comes back. Suddenly I’m too tired, I don’t feel well, there are chores to be done, work to be done, TV to watch. Anything but writing.
My head is saying, in its lucid moments, that it’s a mindset. If I just force myself up those stairs and into that room and switch on the computer and stare at it, things will come. Trust me: I just find new ways to procrastinate. Previously I convinced myself I couldn’t write anything until I sorted out my mess of an outline. That’s done now, so I had to find a new excuse. My current fave is Christmas present browsing.
I had thought that the short deadline of 6 Month Novel would help me; maybe it still will. I know that I work best on panic deadlines. I’ll try not to let it be a matter if giving up, because this is my last chance really… Not to get melodramatic or anything!
Is the story any good? Can I actually do this? Will it go anywhere? Who knows. But I’m damn determined to make sure I get to the end, whatever it takes. I can do this. I CAN do this.
Just remind me of that tomorrow, ok?